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I forgot to mention this.

We went to a Mongolian Barbeque the other day, and Hans stated that I am a master of stacking the food into bowls to get the maximum amount possible. This is a distinction I take very seriously and I instructed Hans, Liz, and Laura in the art of Mongolian Food Stacking.

My status was later verified by a couple using an interesting technique (stuffing items inside of the rolled meat), and after taking a look at my creation, they smiled and said, "Wow, you must be a master at this".

Why yes. Yes I am.

And in a moment of unusual generosity, I shall explain my method to you:

The key to any good Mongolian barbeque stacking is to put the small, spillable items (such as mushrooms or peanuts) and meats at the very bottom. You then use whatever items necessary (preferably another bowl) to mash this down as far as possible. You continue to do this until the food has reached the rim of the bowl.

Next, comes the most essential part: The Ring of Broccoli. Taking the little flowerets of broccoli and placing them on the outside, form a ring around the entire edge of the bowl. This allows you to extend the area you can stuff other items in, such as more mushrooms, meats, carrots, or whatever you desire. If you especially like broccoli, you can create a second ring.

If your barbeque in question does not have broccoli, leave immediately. This is one of the cursed "phantom barbeques" we hold with universal disgust within our ring of barbeque enthusiasts, for they clearly have a vendetta against our sacred art.

After the rings are complete, large sticky items such as thinly sliced onions or carrots should go at the top, to create the pinnacle of your Mongolian perfection. If you add sauce to your magnificent creation, please take care to pour it in on the side, next to the ring of broccoli, as your creation may be so perfect in its efficiency and model that it may well be waterproof, causing the precious sauce to slide off the delicacy and onto the cold floor below.

If perfectly created, you should see no less than five people hang their heads in shame, or be brought to their knees in light of such a wondrous work of art.

Please, use the techniques I have described here only for the purpose of good. Do not shame others for no reason, or place a perfect bowl of barbeque outside your step in hopes of frightening away salesmen. Do not use it to convince your boss that you need a raise. And please, whatever you do, enjoy the creation for the use it was intended.

Do not be ashamed when the chef, seemingly without passion, pours your work over the hot and sizzling grill, for this was its true purpose, and the bowl has truly gone to a better place.